Hello Gamers, your resident Lunatic here to share another story of romance. Or is it?
Now, I’ll state the attempt is not bad, and as a neo noir it’s got some fair points. You start off as a gardener with no stated combat skills who (excruciatingly slowly) gets embroiled with Mafia affairs. Through the “only” daughter of a mob boss.
Who at the start thinks of you not at all, and only grudgingly accept his child’s tie to you in the later game. I admit I do not know how long they intend to drag his significance to the plot out, but he is a key player.
One of the major points the devs use to drag out the “No, I’ll say I love you to manipulate your heart strings a thousand times and let you do certain things to me when we’re alone, but no sex.” It’s paetron baiting.
It’s frustrating as all hell past a certain point. It actively counters the idea of the grand/epic romance the writer is obviously trying to build these two to be.
Let me give fair example of why. First point: They share exactly one dream. One, and a connection neither can explain. Because as yet the writer hasn’t bothered to try beyond a few heavily inferred points that don’t make a lot of sense if you aren’t an avid reader like me. ONE. DREAM. From this, Alexandra takes it that their “first time” has to be perfect.
Has to be magical, and that somehow gives her the right to be both the spoiled princess and the fem dom she’ll never admit she actually is. Second point, the one that really fucks the romance angle, it disproves their connection the longer she goes on denying him sexually.
Yes, she’s not experienced. Yes she does claim she wants to be bent over and taken. However she’ll never just let him do so. There is an event where she’s firmly drunk and willing to let “her man” finger her to orgasm, but she does nothing to return the favour. I’ll return to this because in the plot I played, I kept her “friend” alive, and connected to us both.
There are major issues and pitfalls I can see in plot there as well and I’ll get to them. Point three; Romeo & Juliet/Paris and Helen. IF she actually wanted to reinforce the fact she wants what she claims and does love him, then as the smart girl she’s claimed to be, she should know there are some things you have to bend on.
Literally and figuratively. Now, those two examples are star-crossed. Doomed from the start, and I’m aware of it but in literature classically, these are two of the prime examples of the kind of passionately unexpected romance whirlwinds that is implied of our pair in the start. Neither of those pairs dragged this thing out nearly as long as the devs have done here.
Next problem – though I want to point out that the work on the writing thus far is actually well thought out, and structured, to be fair – the way the player avatar is treated in-game. Even and perhaps most especially by Alexandra. Who I will remind, is the title character and the “dream girl” Literally. She calls him “Puppy.” She also gets her “friend” into it as well if you choose to enter into a three-way relationship and sustain it. Though the friend will more often not refer to you as such.
I have my own issues with this because I am a dominant mind myself, but it is also wrongly done on several points.
The game is about building a relationship and the hook is that eventually you and the dream girl you want, will rule. Fuck everything else, fuck everyone else. The end. Which because she’s tied to the mob, is not likely if YOU don’t rise to take her Pop’s place.
That’s the angle I expect the story will eventually take, though there is an issue with cops in general that might monkey wrench what should be a means to make an escape hatch viable.
Calling him “Puppy” is incredibly disrespectful, and counter intuitive in this case BECAUSE of the difference in their stations. First off. Second, it would work as less so, if she was willing to allow him as the “dominant unleashed/unleashing” to call her something as normally demeaning.
That’s what “master” and “baby girl” or any other pet name up to and including “my little bitch, or my good little slut” is meant to be. It’s a personal investment made, that you do not allow anyone else. It’s an equalization.
However, she gets to call the male puppy. He gets to fuck her ex-girlfriend who is also her best friend because of course it can’t just be friends. It never really seems like the male becomes the equal. While the devs have tried to paint him as outwardly intimidating. You can’t do that and have the girls constantly break his balls.
Alex actually hasn’t stopped insulting him with teasing, that several times IN WRITING and at least twice in her own speech, has been called cruel or aware she is denying him. That is simply the devs asking the audience if they’ve gotten sufficiently pissed off yet, and it’s wrong.
It would not work in this very frail relationship, and if she thinks so little of him that she can just use him as a rug… tell me, if it was the guy doing this to the girl, would it be ok? Think about that, before you write this stuff guys.
She actively states several times she knows she’s denying you. I don’t give a crap as to why and we all know these games are paetron based in funding. It’s not meta to point that out, even subtly. It just is.
Next problem – is it a harem? The answer is eventually, yes. You find out much later than the options start to open up, that in fact Alex is aware her father fucked around a lot, and she expects the same of you.
She “knows the kind of man you are, and she’s still yours” but she doesn’t want to know the details. I will say I turned down several possible options that might have been open if you as the developers and writing team had just been open in the intro about the fact there weren’t consequences. In fact, the opposite was made clear.
So no. It is not meant to be a harem game at the end. And there are actual problems in the three-way line. Again, as mentioned, there was no need to give Alex a “girlfriend.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl loving a girl, I will say that.
There is nothing wrong with a bisexual female. BUT in a game where the MC is the player’s portal and the Main Love Interest is meant to be the dream girl, she does not need direct involvement by anyone else.
That is another point that directly cuts into the power fantasy that most people play this style of game for. That is what the dating sim is, by the way. We all know we’re not going to get two girls or more to fight over us in real life. If we did, by god we’d never afford it, and holy crap I don’t want to think about the children.
Somebody else can, for once. You do actually have the chance to kill her girlfriend who randomly attacks you. I didn’t take the chance. The game made me actively aware of how invested Alex was in Issy. I actually find Isabelle a much more likable character than Alex the longer I’ve played.
She is (outside of options I did not take that might have been available sooner if I’d known of Alex’s open state of mind) the first girl you can fuck. Like most of these games she freaks about you possibly coming inside, so yeah… I’ve said my piece there.
Thing is and this is a new point; there are ways to make the story more cohesive. To make it so that it’s not just one dream holding the two together. Or, make Alex smart enough to know that if that’s the only shred they’ve got, than fucking with him to tie him full, is best.
Not harping on him all the time, or treating him like a servant to the princess because you think he wants your body too much to walk away, is best. On that point as a side note, more dream sequences can tide the players over.
To a fine point. You can very easily use them as a deepening of their ethereal connection. Not only that but also as means to show a suggestion of the “end game.” You could have put a full harem sequence in the first few days with Alex being firmly “I don’t want to know, but I really don’t care as long as your heart it mine.” That would have made the player feel safer in branching those choices.
More likely to take them. You could have a dream where both Alex and Issy get pregnant, and are on an island with the MC. Not tied to the mob, just hiding away. You could have him owning the cop Emma in dominant style. With her begging to be pregnant as his good little breeding bitch (yes, I’m a bit vindictive like that) while Angela and Issy tease her about having to earn the right. Both of them visibly pregnant themselves.
What I’m saying is there are a ton of off the wall possibilities that could tie things up and make them more clear. Like say for example the inference that is somewhat made where Issy might actually be Boris’ daughter. Alex’s half sister. Or the fact that in the end, Alex is actually the shadow goddess who will have him when he dies.
That the MC is tied to angel blood and demon as the Anti-Christ or whatever that crazy black girl was saying. I’m guessing it was their means of explaining how the fucker is Wolverine. There is a scene that all but implies it, even if he does scar.
To sum things up, good job. Very well done, with minor exceptions that can be ironed out. Mended with some adjustments going forward, or not. It depends on what you go for, I guess.
This won’t be a story for all people, and it really should be a story of just two. Anyways it’s a good stab at an old classic. In the end, she may be the unicorn he’ll chase the end of his days. So, in that regard I say to you Alexandra; I’ll believe in you, if you’ll believe in me.